Sleep Cues – What are sleep cues you ask? They are the most critical part of your WHOLE ENTIRE new mum LIFE! And if you don’t know about them you will have an over tired baby, that is agitated and crying and just plan feral. I thought the signs were a poo pain – poor little guy just wanted to sleep. Until about a month after having Billy – I was told he shouldn’t be awake longer the 1hour (3hours wake time was my ‘norm’ and I was going crazy) the health nurse did then tell me about sleep cues… and my life CHANGED!
Breast feeding – Is something people can not prepare you for, be ready for that and be ready for it to be hard! People would ask me if I was going to breastfeed, I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. If I could I would but I wasn’t stressed about it, like my sister and my mum I thought I wouldn’t have any issues with it – it comes naturally right? When Billy was born mum mentioned trying to latch him – that was the moment I realised – ‘oh god I’m going to have to feed this baby’ haha – but seriously a scary thought! You are it, there is no one else that can do it for you.
It does not come to you straight away, it is a new thing for you and bub and a talent you both have to learn together. Take your time and don’t stress about it. I was so caught up on how much mLs he was getting –its not about the mLs its about how long they go between feeds – a little obvious now i think about it but if i had of thought that way i might have persisted a little longer with trying to breast feed. You will also grieve when you stop breastfeeding, it is a hard thing to stop and you will never be ready for it.
Baby Blues – Are real and should not be called ‘baby blues’ they should be called – ‘you’ll be a total mess for the first week after you give birth’. When you are pregnant your body produces higher amounts of estrogen and progesterone – after you give birth that level drops dramatically back to pre-pregnancy. With the adrenaline wearing off – As well as a new life to look after and lack of sleep, trying to breast feed and mothers, mother in-laws and everyone else under the sun trying to give you advice – You will be an emotional wreck, confused and sad. Its also ok to think you don’t want your baby anymore and you want to take him back (every mum will have that thought – some just might not admit it) Go with the emotions and cry when you want. Dont put the brave face on and talk about it. If you feel like these emotions are not getting any better – speak to someone!
Your hair will fall out – In clumps, enough to cloth the entire population. It is amazing were you will find your hair and that your not bald by the end of it.
Listen to your partner – As a new mum – like all new mums – I was tired and emotional and I had read so much about new born baby’s and what to do, I was not letting my instincts react to what I was faced with.
Jarrod on the other hand didn’t have a head full of advise and was more emotionally stable then I was and after I eventually listened to him I realised he was on the money when it came to knowing what billy needed.
He is Dad after all and while we think we know best, sometimes dads can come in with a fresh face and take over the situation and have the baby settled in 2minutes – so let them. They might not do it the way you do it or want- but they will figure it out (just like we had to).
Go with the flow – Once i was told to go with the flow I relaxed and realised there is no manual (oh how we all would love a manual) going with the flow helps you to go with your instincts and if you are calm – baby will feel that and (hopefully) be calm too.
I was lucky enough to have a great deal of support -Billy and myself are blessed to have such beautiful people in our life. I did also have a book which I have renamed ‘My Baby Bible’ that my sister gave to me called – Calm Baby Confident Mum if you do want to put your baby on a routine (I would HIGHLY recommend this) or if you just want to know what baby’s should be up to routine wise – get this book!
Billy and me xx